How Do You Earn Being “Liked?”

How is that you know if someone “likes” you. What does “like” even mean? Here’s the definition:

to find agreeable, enjoyable, or satisfactory. Synonyms: be fond of, be attached to, have a soft spot for, have a liking for, have regard for, think well of, admirerespectesteem. Antonyms: hate, dislike, not favor.

It is possible to know someone and not like that person. How is it that you get to “like” level with a person. How long does it take for someone to decide if they like you?

In a networking situation you might not have an opportunity to get to know someone for several meetings. Maybe other commitments have kept two people from getting to know each other.

How do you earn being “liked?”

Am I likable? “Like” is different than “know” because it depends more on the other person than you. For someone to know you they need to learn about you. Sometimes people decide they don’t “like” someone based on a feeling, so “like” is even less objective than “know.”

The most important think to know about “like” is that we don’t expect anyone to try to get someone to “like” you by not being YOU. Most of the time, people have a more difficulty with “like” status because they are trying too hard…they aren’t just being their genuine self. So here are some tips for making improvements in this area:

  1. Be yourself. Don’t try to be something or someone you aren’t.
  2. If you are having trouble finding something to say, don’t say anything. If you aren’t great in social settings, don’t try too hard. Just being in social settings will help you get better in them. Make a conscious effort to not say anything, rather than saying too much or something that you will regret later.
  3. Smile. There is lots of research that shows that smiling helps people bond.
  4. Be honest. If you don’t know how to respond and your concerned. Just say, “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to reply to that.” Or, “I’m sorry. I don’t understand.”
  5. Keep conversations light. Especially with people you are networking with or you don’t know very well. Stay away from controversial conversations. If you do get stuck in a controversial conversation, you can jokingly opt out.
  6. Balance conversations. If you find that you are talking a lot, try to “put the ball, in someone else’s court.” Ask a question to get someone else to take over.
  7. Do your work well. If you are in a group and you have a particular profession, knowing your profession very well speaks volumes.
  8. Don’t try to sell all the time. The rule of thumb is 80/20. While networking, only 20% is selling and 80% is relationship building.

Your KLT report can help you learn more about the impression you are leaving with you peers.

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